Memento

Really I wish I could forget you and move on but I understood that it is not possible.You will not understand my pain because the reason for the pain is the absence of you.I curse myself every time I think of you but it happens again the very next breath I take.I understood that your thoughts are directly proportional to the number of breaths I take.I miss you like I have lost a part of me.A part of me that always will remain with you until you come and give my soul peace.A part of me is lost.Oh girl why did you just leave me alone.Why do I love you even though you call me a dog?Why baby?The very second I wake up I hear my mind saying your name and again I curse myself for thinking of you even though you left me alone to walk in the dark,lonely path with tears of blood in my heart.I feel so void as if I have lost my soul.I don't feel you as some other person but like a part of me which is no more mine.Whatever I do feels incomplete without sharing them with you.Oh baby.Friends say you don't deserve me.They say why do you cry for her who doesn't love you.But only if someone experiences this feeling they'll know how helpless inspite of all the friends,family and books.It's killing me inside slowly.Why did destiny made us to meet and then wants us to separate forever?I didn't know anything about you.I still remember the day.I saw you and wanted you the next second.I remember.....everything and I cry.....why did I even see you....why did we meet.. now separation.I tried from 3 years for you.First I tried to follow...then i tried to propose...then there was a break...again I tried to contact you...and i proposed this time only to know that you were already committed.I kind of didn't believe and a year passed by.2010 it was.you,me and yes him.Now this new year all I am left with is a broken heart and an incomplete soul.I cry not because you left me ...but because you didn't love me... all I did was loved you.. happiness becomes pain... once you said that you love me..I remember...that day was the best day in this one year...you said that from your heart...i was heaven baby...I was out of my mind...But you never felt the same way when I say those words to you.I truly loved only one girl and that was you ...but it just didn't work out and i am not unhappy for that...I am unhappy because I lost a part of me...a part of me which just doesn't feel complete without you...that part haunts me like a ghost...sucks my blood like a Vampire...kills me like a wolf..every hour...every minute...To this day whenever I see or hear or imagine your name...I feel something which can't be explained...something supernatural....baby... all I did was spoke my heart out because life is unpredictable and small.You only have around 25 years to fall in love..and when someone made me feel so special I didn't want to hide anything...Life is so small....I regret having proposed to you...fuck...you just slipped way from my hand...fuck....If I knew last time we met was really the last time...at that bloody Bigbazaar....I would have hugged you and never left you ...never ever... :( fuck...