Very sorry for everything Angel..

I don't know and don't like what I am doing, but my heart forces me to do certain things.I don't know what is true, I don't know what is right, but I feel miserable without you.I agree I did many mistakes,but all were linked with the fear of losing you.May be I lost patience or may be I didn't want to lose you to somebody else.Whatever,at the end of the day,I did hurt you, maybe more than I hurt myself.Let me put down my theory of my mad love-story..,

1.I saw this girl in my college unexpectedly and instantly fell in love with her and I thought,damn God !! I think she is made for me.I still don't realize, what I liked in her.But once I see her, I turn wild..

2.When I first met her at Kinghorn bakery I was the happiest person in the world.I felt so elated and could'nt believe my luck.She was gleaming there at the end of the bakery,shimmering in black dress with a cute smile on her face.She was the princess of my dreams.She had the eyes of an Angel.

3.To my blame my bloody luck,she told me that she was happily committed ad I could go home and watch Alice in Wonderland to fulfill my fantasies.I just lost her.But it took me one and a half year to realize that.

4.When Kiran entered my world ,everything turned upside down and I became a mad one-side lover ready to split my vein and prove my love to her.But sadly it didn't work.Actually she did even believe that I did.

5.I forgot fear.I forgot Kiran.I did everything possible.From asking her to meet me whenever she came to Hyderabad, to buying her small gifts with whatever my pocket money could suffice.To running on roads like a fool just to buy her birthday gifts.To going mad just to catch a glimpse of her which made me travel distances while the meeting would last only for a minute.May be she feared something or may be she didn't like.I don't know.

6.November 2010 changed everything.After enjoying a movie with her

on 19TH everything changed.23RD November was her birthday.She told that she was with Kiran all the day.I died that day.Don't know what was true.I died in an imaginary world.

7.I went to hell after my death.I tortured myself by still having a hope in my heart that she is mine.Nothing worked.She said everything was over between them.My heart didn't believe.Hell wasn't fun.

8.Arguments.Stupid messages.Over 100 missed calls.Calling her names.What not?I troubled my sweet Angel a lot.Crying to myself in the mirror,I felt like dying.I stopped using phone.I asked her to change her number.I stopped calling her for a month.My heart bled.I tied a bandage and controlled it for 37 days.

9.She called me back.My stupid heart told me to answer that dreaded call.I died again.She was never mine.Even for the longest two and a half hours she spent right next to me in theater, her heart was somewhere.I felt like kissing her.But didn't, because she never reciprocated to my feelings.She still is happy with Kiran.I lost her.I lost myself.I died in hell.

10.Today I call her ad her number doesn't work.I still keep calling at least 20 times a day.I call her grand-mom sometimes and she asks,why do you call her when she doesn't like you?Who are you to ask how she is?Concentrate on your studies and make your loving parents proud.Sorry,granny but I don't have an answer.

She didn't wish me on my birthday..

San.... I don't know whether Kiran was a lie and whether you did that, so that I would loose my hopes on you.

But if you want me over anybody else...then tell me those three golden words.I promise, I won't hurt you ever again.I can't let you go with Kiran..

My sweet angel...so sorry to hurt you.Will you come back? Ever??

Your eyes...make me trust, that u never did anything wrong with

anybody..please talk to me..

किताबे बहुत पढ़ी है फिर भी न समझ आया साक़ी,

क्या था तेरी आँख में जो होश हमने गंवाया साक़ी..

My favourite Paulo Coelho Quotes

Whenever I feel low or whenever I feel lonely, this person called Paulo Coelho comes to my rescue.I truly admire his wisdom, although I have only read one of his books that is 'The Alchemist'.He inspires me all the time and shows me the way when I lose the path.Here are some of his quotes which I really like,

1.There is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for.

2.Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not.

3.“Surrealism” is to have 20.000 friends in Facebook & Twitter, but your phone doesn’t ring during the weekend.

4.Life is short. There is no time to leave important words unsaid.

5."Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take is the worst of suffering."

6."In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire."

7."Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realise that nothing really belongs to them."

8."Sometimes there's just no way to hold back the river."

9."Love was a feeling completely bound up with color, like thousands of rainbows superimposed one on top of the other."

10."Death is our constant companion, and it is death that gives each person's life its true meaning."

Hail Indian Cinema

Why do Indian film-makers make such crap movies and waste the time & money of people who go and watch them for relaxing or to get some information out of them but instead get literally mind-fucked.Why don't the directors just shut their crap-hole up and stop making business out of cinema and ruin peoples lives.Movies do have impact on the viewers and when they make such bloody movies you can't expect the audiences to get anything out of it and in return take some load of its crap in their minds.It's been ages since we have been watching the same kind of movies.Come-on how long do we need to keep watching the same old stories with a slight change just for the sake of the hero or the heroine starring in it.People who are ready to go for their Demi-God's shit with open hands are sickly infatuated by them and should get a life.

Directors and producers may complain that if they go ahead and make an out-of-routine movie the theaters will run empty.That itself clearly indicates that Indian Cinema is nothing but a form of business and we need to turn our ass against them.I am tired of those never-ending love stories with a hero trying to impress the heroine by kicking some helpless villain's butt, even though the villain looks hundred times larger and stronger than the Hero.I find it funny when the crowd finds it amusing and starts whistling at such scenes.I enjoy those moments by smirking at the Hero who is making a clown of himself and pity the audiences for their choice.I and the producers have the last laugh.

Does the problem lie in the audiences or the movie-makers.I believe it is with both of them.If people stop going to such movies, nobody would be making them.The producers are lucky to have such amateur audiences who,like kids,jump at the sign of a chocolate.They throng the theaters a day in advance and stand in long queues and some pay the extra amount and manage to get them.When there is so much of money involved, which mindless idiot will stop making movies.The other day, when I went to a theater to catch a movie, I met two of my old school friends who came to get tickets for a movie called Teen Maar (I actually hate calling it a movie) and to my surprise they were still waiting when I came out in the interval.That's the typical Indian audience.Anything and everything for the two C's (Cinemas & Cricket).But I am happy for the rest of them who know the taste of real cinema and glad for some who realized that infatuation for an actor doesn't mean appreciating a movie in the real sense.

Today, I read an article in the newspaper which said that the Rambo Circus which was running for a couple of months in my city, almost ran empty even though it had the first fully air-conditioned tent.The 3,000 seating capacity could attract only 40 people which included only a handful of kids among them.People change with time and I hope, it would come true in the case of Indian Cinema too.

P.S. -The reason for writing this article is the after-effect of watching the movie Teen-Maar.Thank you Jayanth C Paranji and thank you Pawan Kalyan for disappointing me once again.

The world today

When I think about the world today,I am in awe for how advanced and complicated it has become in the last one century.What could be the reason for such a rapid change which I believe could have never been witnessed before.

The present generation of people are highly competitive and are open to new challenges.So it can be termed as the days of Survival of the Fittest.People are the same.Their level of intelligence hasn't changed,but the difference lies in the fact that machines have take over the humans.In the earlier days a nation's strength was rated according to its military strength but today the Economy Tag makes all the difference.

No.	Country	GDP (PPP)	Economy Value
1.	USA	$ 14,260,000 trillion
2.	China	$ 8,789,000 trillion	$1.33 trillion
3.	Japan	$ 4,137,000 trillion	$1.28 trillion
4.	India	$ 3,560,000 trillion
5.	Germany	$ 2,811,000 trillion
6.	United Kingdom	$ 2,149,000 trillion
7.	Russia	$ 2,116,000 trillion
8.	France	$ 2,110,000 trillion
9.	Brazil	$ 2,025,000 trillion
10.	Italy	$ 1,760,000 trillion

The US and China are the top economies of the world and it is being opined that China has a strong chance of overtaking the US as the World's No.1 economy by 2025.

We have seen many revolutions in the past century.The advancement in technology has brought a great change in the present scenario of the world.In today's world, mind wins over matter.People need effective leaders to solve their problems and make their nation a safe place.Leaders like Muammar Gaddafi and Hosni Mubarak have been literally throw out of their thrones after decades of dictatorship.The Tahrir Square was turned into a battlegroud against the government and in the end people won.Libyans were literally bathed in blood after the cruel Gaddafi turned against his own people.The great George Bernard Shaw said,"People who get on in this world are people who get up and look for circumstances they want and if they don't find them,make them."

Recently there has been a lot of controversies surrounding Julian Assange ,Owner of Wikileaks.However,it was rather obvious because such a move by a person could prove fatal to the Governments.But on the long run only revolutionists like him prove to be victorious.They come like Messiah to the rescue of the people.When secrets get leaked they give rise to Guerillas and they go on to bring never before seen changes to the world.Last year,in India a handful of scams came into limelight which included top politicians and businessmen.Crores of public revenue was being sabotaged in the broad daylight.Today a 73 year old man,called Anna Hazare comes out like a ray of hope and stands for an anti-corruption move called the Jan Lokpal Bill.Is this why we are called Youngistan where an old man did what we couldn't.Leonardo Da Vinci said,"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication".

We youngsters are nothing but a group of complicated idiots.The youngsters are not useless but they are used less and it is high time they come up and stand for real causes.

Actor RaNa in support of Hazare

Sky is the limit

Whenever I see movie stars,politicians,sports stars etc in limelight I wonder if I could ever become like them.I am obsessed with thoughts of popularity.A single person can make himself the hot topic of discussion.He can make millions scream out his name in the public.I want that.I want people to rip my shirt off when I go into the public.I want them to drool over me just to get an autograph.I wonder how celebrities feel being popular.Do they like it or do they wish for privacy.

The ICC Cricket world cup 2011 made M.S.Dhoni one of the most popular persons from

India.He is being quoted as the greatest captain of the Indian cricket team.Shahrukh Khan.I reckon the name itself is synonymous with popularity.He has over 8,00,000 followers on twitter itself.How does one deal with such immense fan following.I want to get a feel of that.I want to drive all the luxurious motorcycles,buy a flat in the Burj Khalifa,relax in some exotic island,party every weekend,have my own private jet.Did

Shahrukh Khan dream of all this just like me before he became what he is.Why does every one call Sachin Tendulkar 'God' when they know he is also a ordinary person who just achieved a lot.

• According to me,theses are the traits that make a person popular..

1.Passion : This is the basic property a person needs to have in the process of becoming popular.The drive that makes him want something such that he will resort to anything in order to get it.

2.Hard-work : Once you know the way all you need to do is work hard in reaching that goal.Even though Sachin has cricket in his blood it is the hard-work and dedication that makes his stay at the top.

3.Luck: Many people in spite of having the above two keep failing because they lack

luck.A good example is the movie Luck by chance and on the contrary, what the Rajiv Gandhi International stadium is doing to the Deccan Chargers.

4.Extroverted/leadership/oratory skills:I admire Shahrukh for the way he speaks more than the way he acts.Manmohan singh is criticized for being silent and not-aware-of-anything syndrome which makes him a ineffective leader.Dhoni is another popular leader.

5.Son of the already rich/popular: This is the easiest way of becoming popular and requires least hard-work.Everybody knows Siddarth Mallya because he is the son of Vijay Mallya.

• Now let me analyse myself according to the above points.

1.Passion : I never felt anything like 'I have it in me' and I am going to do it no matter what others think.Once I felt that maybe I could draw well but,no,I didn't want it as my profession.

2.Hard-work : When there is no passion there is no question of hard-work.I don't work hard for what I don't like, even if it means that I will die,I never will.But if I want something I can go upto any extent.

3.Luck: Of course I don't have luck or else I would have easily passed EAMCET with flying colours.I have the least probability to survive a tsunami and I will be the last one to answer any random question even if I knew the answer.

4.Extroverted/leadership/oratory skills:I am an introvert.I am dumb.My reflexes take their own time.I can't stay alert.I cannot lead a group of people.I don't have extra-ordinary oratory skills.But I will speak if it will bring a change in the society.

5.Son of the already rich/popular: I am not the son of Rajnikanth.

But does that mean I cannot be rich or popular.Lets wait and find out.